🌿 From Shame to Freedom

A Mother’s Journey Out of Gambling Addiction

I am 36 years old, a mother of three beautiful children, and a Secondary School teacher here in Lusaka.

For years, I battled silently with gambling. I thought I was in control, but the truth is, it controlled me. I carried so much shame. At work I looked fine, at church I smiled, at home I tried to hold everything together — but inside I was crumbling.

My lowest moment, the one I will never forget, was the day my husband gave me money to pay school fees for our children. I was supposed to deposit it at the bank. But instead, on my way there, I convinced myself that I could quickly multiply it. I put the entire amount into my Mobile Money account and started gambling. Within hours, everything was gone.

The money for our children’s education, GONE. The trust my husband had in me, BROKEN. The weight of guilt and shame that fell on me that day was unbearable. I couldn’t look my children in the eyes. I couldn’t face my husband. I felt like I had failed as a wife, a mother, and as a woman.

It didn’t stop there. People I owed money to began calling my husband, demanding that he pay them back. He had no idea about the debts I had been hiding. I still remember the anger and pain in his eyes when he found out. He told me he couldn’t take it anymore, that after 7 years of marriage he was ready to leave me. The man I loved so much, the father of my children, I kept hurting him with my lies, my deceit, and my gambling habits.

For days I couldn’t eat. I locked myself in and cried. That was the day I truly saw how gambling had destroyed me. It wasn’t just about the money anymore. It was about the lies, the secrets, the brokenness inside of me. I felt like my life was over.

But on the 11th of February, 2025, everything began to change. That was the day I reached out for professional help.

The team at GamAid didn’t judge me. They understood me. They walked with me through my shame, my pain, and my fears. They gave me tools, support, and hope. They reminded me that I was still a mother, still a teacher, still a woman worthy of love and respect.

Today, I am 6 months gamble-free. I have started to rebuild my marriage, I am present with my children, and for the first time in years, I can look at myself in the mirror and see hope instead of shame.

To every woman who is secretly battling gambling addiction the way I did. Please don’t wait until you hit rock bottom. Don’t carry the shame in silence. There is hope, and there is a way out. Reach out to GamAid Zambia. They helped me find myself again, and they can help you too. Invest in your recovery.